I respond with hesitation, “yes.”
I wait for what feels like eternity. I kneel, I breathe, and I pray for help. I ask God to hold me through the news that I am about to hear.
I pray my most healing prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“Hello, this is Dr. Goldberg. Is this Aleyda?”
“Yes,” I stutter.
“Good news, your scans are clean.” I gasp for air and I breathe. I tear up and I thank him as if he has granted me, once again, the gift of life. He responds, “These are the calls I like to make– good news calls.”
I say, “God bless you and I will see you soon.”
I get up off the floor amazed at how fear had gripped me so automatically. The past traumatic doctor phone calls collide with my present. This is a PTSD experience I will have to acknowledge as my reality. This is normal. I trust that as more positive calls come through outweighing the negative, my PTSD will one day heal, too.
Just want to share my gratitude and let you know miracles do happen.
It’s been six years now. But who’s counting?